I Took a Hit Out! …On My Couch
Yes, the couch saga continues. With the arrival of our new couch, we had to find a new home for the old, comfortable, perfectly nice couch. We’d spent many an hour on that couch - watching movies, eating popcorn, watching movies, eating more popcorn. But it was time for poor couchy to go.
I put out an ad for the couch on cragislist for a FREE COUCH. The only catch was that you had to come and get it out of our apartment. I assured my husband that the switch would be no trouble at all and the Craigslist folks would do all the heavy lifting. Famous last words.
Some nice folks came by on Monday to pick up the couch. They had their Uhaul with them, but alas they didn’t have any extra moving help so Andrew was pressed into service. The couch made it halfway through the apartment door, punctured a hole in the wall, stripped paint and wood off the door and then refused to budge any further. It was a bit like trying to put the cats in the cat carrier — you know, when they put their paws on the outside like in the cartoons? I ran down to my landlord and asked “do you have a chainsaw?” Probably not something he wanted to hear from his tenant. He didn’t have a chainsaw but he was kind enough to come up and help us get the couch BACK into the apartment.
We said goodbye to our patient Craigslist folks and determined that the only way to get the couch out of the apartment was to take it apart. Among other more colorful statements Andrew comment that it was “like slaughtering your own pig.” Sweating like said animal and pissed off Andrew started to rip off fabric and see what was under the hood while I (fortunately) had to run back to the office. I called home a short time later and was informed “you shouldn’t come home right now!” In expressing his angst against the once loved couch, Andrew had whipped off a pillow, hitting the lighting fixture on the ceiling and exploding glass everywhere. The couch just wasn’t going to go down easy. I was also told that in no way was the couch coming apart without the aid of some power equipment. At this point we gave up for the evening and I searched Craigslist for a handyman with destructive talents. Russ answered the call and we made an appointment to have him come over last night to do the deed.
Yesterday I went to the store to prepare, buying electrical tape, industrial trash bags, drop cloths and gloves. I was entirely ready to facilitate a gruesome couch crime scene. Russ arrived around 7:30 and within an hour our beloved couch was in pieces…but not before: Russ received numerous injuries from the couch, his saw blade pulled free of the saw and got jammed in the couch, and he and had an extensive cat-induced allergy attack. The couch’s last gasp of revenge.
September 20th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
We had some friends who answered a free couch ad on craigslist which they later found they couldn’t get out of the apartment, someone refered The Couch Doctor (true!) whose specialty it is to come and carefully take the couch apart, transport it and put it back together in the new place. They said he told them he does most of his work for Big Box Stores, when new couches people have bought won’t fit through doors, but he does ‘independent’ work as well. It’s also fun to demolish things though.
Love the blog
September 20th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
You know, the last year of my life is akin to your story, metaphorically speaking, though the couch — more humorous. I know it could be the blurry pic, but Russ looks kinda hot! I’m sure it’s just me. *sigh, I miss my bf.
Getting furniture in and out of Brooklyn/NYC apartments is like an age-old right of passage, usually taking 10x longer than you expect and causing more damage than is humanly possible. I have known many who have even sold their furniture to new tenants, rather than have to move it out again. You guys need a cold beer!
September 20th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Russ is from Coney Island, an electrician by trade (but happy to do some demo) a former cyclist (in his younger days) and had a date that evening with his girl, strolling the beach, drinking a beer and kanoodeling in one of the lifeguard chairs. So I guess he is also a romantic.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
I miss all of the good stuff when I leave Brooklyn… can’t wait to sit on the NEW, lovely, custom upholstered piece!
September 20th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
I love getting a new couch because you can put your hand between the cussions with out fear. IT is simply erotic to know that you are not going to bet bit by a hair ball with a dime for a brain. Loved your story.
Josh
September 20th, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Darn that Russ! Well at least my bf is moving here in 10 days! YAY!
BTW, did you redo the couch yourself or have someone local do it?
September 20th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Nice on having your honey back in town! Congrats. Oh, just posted link to evillage radio in our links section - people check it out! I didn’t do the couch on my own (that would be a disaster for sure) I called “Eastern Parkway Reupholstery”. They gave me a really good price and were very nice.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
Cool. I may have a couch to update in the coming months myself, assuming the addition of cat #2 doesn’t make for a war in the living room.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
Oh, there’s going to be a war alright! An awesome, awesome kitty war.
In all seriousness, the Eastern Parkway folks were great.
September 20th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
I bought a couch that wouldn’t fit through my apartment door. The guy who delivered it — who either played horn in Parliament or just really liked the horn-playing in Parliament — suggested we try the window. It was on the 2nd floor. We set a ladder up against the building. The top of it reached to about three feet below the bottom of the window. I got below the couch and pushed up the outer wall of the building, while the guy ran inside and stretched down to pull up on the top end. He was a huge guy. He just sort of dead lifted the thing up in the air, so that when I jumped down off the ladder and looked up, 75% of the sofa was jutting out the window, parallel to the ground. I ran upstairs and reached out through the other window to try to help push it in, but it was all his doing. He grunted and strained and got the sofa in. Afterwards, we sat around and had a couple of beers and listened to Parliament.
September 20th, 2006 at 8:18 pm
OMG thats great! I bet if we had some Parilment playing (or didnt live on the 4th floor) we would have had more luck. Now you’ve got me wanting to listen to parliment!
September 23rd, 2006 at 1:03 pm
better than “Squirrel Cop”
September 25th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
Ha - I had a similar couch experience a few years ago. Tried to give it away for free, no luck. The Salvation Army rejected it. Tried to get it down to the curb with a couple of friends, couldn’t budge it. I ended up having to pay a guy to come over, hack it to pieces, and take it down to the curb piece by piece!!
October 14th, 2006 at 12:49 am
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