Archive for the 'Corner Crime Report' Category

60 second freak’n grace period!

Thursday, March 23rd, 2006

Does this seem extreme to you? Or am i just a big baby?

I double park my car once a week in the CG neighborhood (along with all my neighbors). To those who are unfamiliar this mean that from 11:00-2:00 you move your car to the opposite side of the street so the cleaners can get by (blocking in the parked cars).

Today at 2:00 I round the corner to my street (and am less than 10 meters from my car) when I spy with my little eye a nasty traffic agent standing by my car. I run towards her (time is probably now 2:00 and 30 seconds) yelling “Oh don’t worry - I’m moving it right now”. She doesn’t budge “You are already in the system, I can’t delete it.”

I reply “What? It’s 2:00?”

She replies “No, It is 2:01. I gave you time. I waited for you.”

“You waited for me? You gave me TIME?!? YOU GAVE ME 60 SECONDS!!!!” I reply - thoroughly agitated.

” I waited for you.” she replies.

And I’m thinking, you evil little bottom feeding traffic shark. You waited all right. You waited for your clock to strike 2:00:01 and give me a freak’n ticket. 60 Seconds - how very generous of you!

“That’s cold” I tell her.

She prints out the $115 ticket with a time stamp of 2:02 and goes along her merry way.

Once she has left, a neighbor of mine across the street tells me that there is 5 minute grace period in New York City, and offers to be a witness should I decide to plead not guilty. (Really, what a nice guy! I love this neighborhood). Has anybody heard of this grace period before? Do I have any chance of winning a challenge to this ticket?

I have never argued against a ticket before, and normally pay right away, admitting my fault. But this, well this really pisses me off. I should get at least a 120 second benefit of the doubt on my own street.

p.s: If I had been 5 minutes late - I woulda paid without comment.

Get The F*%@! Away From Me

Thursday, November 3rd, 2005

(hey my first post! and you thought I was NEVER going to post now didn’t you, TAMMY??)

I have some corner crime to report. The other night around 6pm we had a big fight break out on 5th Street (not the usual melee in the middle of Smith Street action we’re used to around here). A big Latino guy and a chick with very frizzy hair and acid wash jeans (no it was not me) were having a big fight in the street. Something about “I know you were doing that shit! Don’t lie to me! Don’t lie to me! Well then why did you keep going in the bathroom???” and so on.. anyway, it ended with the guy screaming at the top of his lungs over and over and OVER again, about 20 times in a row, “GET AWAY FROM ME! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” nonstop, he just kept yelling this… I’m amazed that he had the frame of mind to bother to ALTERNATE the two phrases…it was pretty entertaining.

anyway after that, he sat with his buddy in their car outside my door and had the most loud and animated argument/bitch session in Spanish. I thought I was going to get a stray cap in my ass at any moment.

Urban Rooster

Thursday, October 6th, 2005

Ok, so this is slightly old news - but we thought we should update you on the growing cast of characters at 423 smith. Recently our landlady Mrs. G brought home a rooster - a rooster named Johnny. We managed to capture our first encounter with Johnny on video.

He has since escaped many a times (we think he is looking for female companionship). A few weeks ago, on one of the hotest days of the summer, the local po-po came by to take johnny to the pokey for public drunkeness and I think even flashing. It took over 12 police officers to subdue him. And he spent the afternoon cooling off downtown. Mrs. G eventually paid his bail and he was back at his post announcing the time of day at 20 minute intervals that evening.

It took 12 men to take him down